As we tweeted yesterday (yes, it’s taken us a full 24 hours to digest the news fully), Lindsay Lohan has been offered a post as “artistic advisor” at Emanuel Ungaro. Er, is that just a fancy name for muse?
We say this because what it will apparently entail is La Lohan scooting off around the world, making appearances and being “where the activities of the brand are,” or so says Ungaro’s CEO Mounir Moufarrige. He told WWD young Lindsay “does have an eye [for fashion]… I like the way [Lohan] dresses. Her house [in Los Angeles] is a mini-department store. She changes outfits five times a day.” If that’s all it takes to be a muse – sorry, artistic advisor - at a major fashion house these days, then sign me up!
She will team up with new designer Estrella Archs (who replaces Estaban Cortazar) and Lindsay herself says of her role: “I kind of oversee everything [Archs] does, while working with her.”
Ungaro appears to be wanting to head in a younger, hipper direction, with Cortazar recently using Fashion Toast blogger Rumi Neely, known for her edgy street style, as a muse. We’re interested to see what this new collaboration will bring about – roll on October 4, when their collection will debut at Paris Fashion Week!
Lindsay Lohan é uma coisa incrível…Que por mais que ela faça cagada na vida, continua sendo assediada e vendendo cada vez mais. Prova disso é a última notícia sobre os rumos profissionais da trouble-it-girl, que foi contratada para ser consultora artística da marca do estilista Emanuel Ungaro em sua nova coleção Primavera/Verão, que irá ser apresentada em Paris, em outubro.
Essa notícia na verdade é antiiiga…
Mas antes era tratada apenas como um boato, onde diziam inclusive que Esteban Cortazar (ex-designer chefe), teria pedido sua demissão em protesto a decisão da contratação de Li-Lo.
Here is Lindsay Lohan shopping in SoHo last night. That’s right my friends, it’s a side boob. You’re thinking to yourself, “Hey, Procrastibate writer, you stupid ninnie-chaser, we always get to see Lindsay Lohan’s side boob. What’s so different about this time?” I’ll tell you. Nothing. I would say that she looks like a gothic reinvention of an MGMT member but that’s nothing new for her. In fact, she has done the look of “washed-up hippie” so many times that she may have actually been the one who started the hipster trend. Did you hear that? That was the sound of every hipster dropping their organic soy-infused natural arabica lattes and turning their expression from pensive to aghast.
Labor Day is here, and that means SFB playoffs! Paul takes a look at the two first-round matchups between Jon’s WonTons/Los Gomos Extranos and Jack’s Survivors/Parizona Carollas.
by Paul Gammons
After a wait that was nearly as epic as Playboy’s wait for Linsday Lohan, the 2009 SearchFantasyBaseball playoffs are finally here. It was a wild ride though, with no playoff spots clinched early this year. Just a handful of points separated the top six competitors heading into the final week of the regular season, meaning those precious first-round byes were very much up for grabs.
Congratulations to Mimosox and Chamiqua for earning the week off; we’ll get to them next week. And condolences to Cavemen (122-115-27) and Woman Juice (126-117-21), as this was the first time in memory that SFB had two above-.500 teams fail to make the playoffs (that’s what happens when the really, really bad teams stink as much as they did this year).
But now we’ve got a pair of tremendous matchups, so let’s get right to ‘em.
(4) Jon’s WonTons (135-111-18)
(5) Los Gomos Extranos (128-109-27)
Chad Pennington must’ve learned the art of the comeback from Jon’s WonTons. Each year, the squad seems to flounder until August, then suddenly pulls an Artie Lange (minus the freebasing and DUIs) on the league and barrels its way into the playoffs. This year was no different, going 24-12 to finish off the year before a 7-4 loss to Chamiqua in the season’s final week.
Like the Swine Flu, Los Gomos Extranos just won’t stop unleashing its tirade of Mexican fury on the league. As I noted in my last column, Gomes has been the hottest team heading into the playoffs, winning eight of its last nine matchups, despite the season-ending injury to ace Johan Santana.
The season series between the two foes was a split (5-4 Tons in week 3; 7-5 Gomes in week 14), pointing to a Gosselin-like battle for the ages in this first-round duel. I give Gomes a fighting chance, as Ryan Zimmermann is displaying why he’s a franchise cornerstone, and Carlos Pena is once again going on a post-break tear looks to be the 2009 AL home run king. But the Tons have an offense that makes opponents feel like Tila Tequila at Shawne Merriman’s house, and starters like C.C. Sabathia, Clayton Kershaw and Feliz Hernandez have been lights-out since the break.
The defending champs look strong heading into the post-season. Jack’s Survivors have won four of its last five, and are undefeated in its last seven.
The Parizona Carollas have a lot in common with Adam Carolla: it can never seem to get anything going. The team has only had one winning streak of more than two weeks all season, and when it finally started getting momentum heading into the playoffs, it tripped on the hairy feet of the Cavemen.
Parizona took the week eight matchup 7-4, but the Vivors came back with a 10-1 bitch slap in week 19, Parizona’s worst loss of the season.
On paper, this one looks pretty lopsided. Parizona’s best hitter in the past month has been rookie Garrett Jones, while veterans like Alex Rodriguez and Jimmy Rollins have struggled to find consistency all season. Upstart rookie starters Mat Latos and Chris Tillman were providing the team with a big lift, but Latos was shut down Saturday night and Tillman clearly looks fatigued. Meanwhile, the Survivors’ Joe Mauer and Evan Longoria are both in the MVP discussion, while the rest of the lineup has been scoring and driving in runs almost as quickly as the Van Jones era came and went. However, among its starters, only Tommy Hanson has truly been excellent as of late, and the Carollas have a superior slate of closers, meaning a brilliant pitching performance by Parizona could be enough to end the champs’ reign.
Prediction: 6-5 Parizona
Paul Gammons, a columnist for PaulGammons.com, says Curt Schilling for senate is a change he can believe in.
Actress Lindsay Lohan wants everyone to know that she loves Alan Ball’s True Blood series on HBO, more so than other celebrities who say they do.
Lohan donned the vampire fangs at Chateau Marmont and tweeted these pictures of herself as a die hard True Blood fan for her twitter family.
This girl is too creative! And if anyone understands the vampiring nature of Los Angeles on Hollywood’s young its Lindsay Lohan. She’s a survivor extraordinaire of the fame game. This girl is no sucker, but the fangs play with the notion that she is.
Alan Ball is probably writing a part for Lohan right now into the script of True Blood: Season 3. She’s got the man’s attention.
Revelations 12 v 11: They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Fierce!
Но после трех дней с половиною вошел в них дух жизни от Бога, и они оба стали на ноги свои; и великий страх напал на тех, которые смотрели на них.
Og eftir dagana þrjá og hálfan fór lífsandi frá Guði í þá, og þeir risu á fætur. Og ótti mikill féll yfir þá, sem sáu þá.
La muerte del Cordero, y el mensaje anunciado, ha sido su derrota. Los nuestros no tuvieron miedo, sino que se dispusieron a morir.
E depois daqueles três dias e meio o espírito de vida, vindo de Deus, entrou neles, e puseram-se sobre seus pés, e caiu grande temor sobre os que os viram.
[Tip of the hat to RF Interference who first informed me of DJ AM'spassing, and in turn, his existence by asking, "Are the pacifier brigade in mourning?" (Or words to that effect.) A further tip of the hat to Tannerleah over at Stop Annoying Me for bringing my annoyance with the past existence of DJ AM bubbling back to the surface.]
The world is suddenly abuzz with news of DJ AM’s overdose. “Who?” some of you are probably asking. “Whom?” others of you are asking, more properly and possibly with a British accent. I asked myself this same question.
As a follower of electronic music and DJs in general, even I hadn’t heard of him. Turns out I was travelling in the wrong circles. DJ AM was known best for his squiring of such luminous figures as Nicole Richie and Mandy Moore. A professional celebrity DJ.
Crazy Town signalled their craziness through various neck movements and refusal to line up single-file. Also, they had a DJ for no apparent reason.
Here’s a little more background on DJ AM:
DJ AM’s (a.k.a. Adam Goldstein) first tenuous claim to 15 minutes came as the “DJ” for “his” “band” Crazy Town, a band as edgy and threatening as a temporary tattoo. You may notice that I have multiple sets of quotation marks in the previous sentence. It’s no mistake. Let’s go ahead and diagram the hell out of it:
“DJ” – Meaning AM was the jackass in the back, fiddling madly with the turntables and mugging for the camera during his allotted 10-20 seconds per music video. His contribution is unknown. Perhaps the “band” felt its street cred would rise above “lunch money donor” on the musical playground. All anyone asked of their DJs is that they stay in the back and shut the fuck up.
“his” – Crazy Town wa no more his band than the Beatles were Pete Best’s. He was one of those added features that several bands of that era (Papa Roach, Limp Bizkit, etc.) deluded themselves into thinking was essential. So they all got a DJ and who’s heard anything from those turntablists recently? But nevertheless, there it was. Have band, need DJ. As de riguer as the loud-quiet-loud dynamic, faux-rapping and the “I’m singing from inside an old-timey radio” vocal effect.
“band” – Crazy Town was a band in the sense that they all played instruments (except DJ AM) under one name as a somewhat cohesive unit. Much like Scary Movie 3is a film, in that it’s shot on film and played on a projector. Still no one’sgoing to confuse it with other films, like The Godfather or even Mobsters.
That’s the backstory.
On August 28th, DJ AM is found dead in his apartment of an apparent “accidental” overdose. The tweet goes out and is soon answered. Here’s a few of the fringe celebrities and would-be rock stars, who were among the first to max out their vocabularies, building deep thoughts out of 140-word sentences: Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy), Paris Hilton, Perez Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Mandy Moore, John Mayer, Ryan Seacrest, Jordin Sparks, P. Diddy.
Let’s take a peek at some of their incredible eulogies, presumably iPhoned in during a rigorous workout/massage/blowjob:
@johncmayer I really want to use words right now but I can’t get em.
THX, John. I really want to not beat you with your own guitar, but English is hard.
@solangeknowles I hope people don’t taint his legacy…..because there isn’t any concrete proof yet. That guy was a walking miracle.
Wonderful, whoever-the-fuck-you-are. He died of drugs surrounded by drug paraphernalia, so I’m guessing “concrete proof” is just an autopsy away (and there is one). Also, Jesus would like to inform you that miracles seldom include dying, at least not if you can’t shake it off in 3 days. Also, also: an ellipsis is three dots, not however the hell many you want. You’re working with a 140-character limit. Don’t use it all at once.
@BonnieFuller DJ AM DEAD & SO SAD! I wonder if the poor thing was suffering from survivor’s guilt after that terrible plane crash
Awesome. Thanks for the amateur diagnosis, BF. If this is “survivor’s guilt” then get a 24-hour suicide watch up at Travis Barker’s place. He “walked” away from that crash as well, and these things always come in three’s. (Someone find a third person to tie into this. I can’t have my pet theories continually crushed by your speeding Buick LeSabre of logic.)
These are the people whose lives he touched. Presumably. All of them bemoaning the “tragedy” and the “why god why” of a relatively young (36) starfucker cut down in his prime, by his own failure to do correct maths while drugging himself up.
Nowhere in this outpouring of shallowness is there a single twit (they liked to be called this) pointing out that suicide is the selfish chickenshit’s way out. Or that he was only batting .500 against life’s tough pitching, having failed to make a gun do the only thing it’s supposed to do in his first attempt. Or that he died committing a crime* and, therefore, deserves no more eulogizing that the thug who gets killed holding up a liquor store.
*We can debate the stupidity of the Drug War elsewhere, perhaps in the comment thread, but at this point, drug possession and use are illegal. And usually treated more seriously than liquor store holdups.
Unfortunately for DJ AM, the NCAA is posthumously stripping him of this key victory over the odds.
And now they’re going to do an autopsy? What the fuck for? Looks pretty open and shut to me. Lifelong drug abuser dies surrounded by drugs, having used his last moments to use drugs. Previous suicide attempt on the rap sheet.
Why? Can’t be the parents. Apparently, Daddy AM was an abusive asshole who is currently dead. Mommy AM sent him to rehab, so she may have a stake in this.
His friends? God help me, I really want to put the largest set of quotes ever made around that word. Friends. Nothing but a bunch of ready-made has-beens clinging to each other in the hopes that somehow they’ll matter, at least to themselves. The fuck do they care? They’ll move on. Their memories are as short as their careers and as lasting as their talent.
Maybe they’ll start a memorial fund, dropping cocaine-tainted $100’s into a lockbox from some teen rehab facility. Maybe not.
Is someone out there hoping the toxicology report will somehow turn the c-list sinner into a saint? A martyr for the privileged starfucker way of life? That he somehow OD’ed on “life”?
In a (very) brief memoriam, let’s take a look at DJ AM’s contribution to the music world:
Crazy Town – The Gift of Game
DJ AM & Travis Barker – Fix Your Face (Vol. 1)
DJ AM & Travis Barker – Fix Your Face (Vol. 2)
One album with a one-hit wonder and two compilation albums that were apparently released by his label, Street Corner Trunk Sales. No wonder he was beloved by fans of music and DJs alike.
R.I.P. DJ AM. The light that burns half as bright gets extinguished by the slightest breeze.
