Lohan Celebrates Ramadan
After reading that a 32-year old mother of two would be caned because she was caught drinking beer, my first thought was “Wow, the Amish aren’t screwing around anymore!” Then I thought, “No way, 32-years old and only two kids; she can’t be Amish!”, and I continued to read on.
The lady guilty of this wonderful act was Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno of Malaysia. It seems that drinking alcohol is against Islamic law. In fact, getting caught drinking can result in a three year prison term, as well as six lashes with the cane. To put that in perspective, an Islamic man convicted of rape also gets the cane, but he has to get his lashes with his pants down. Hardly seems fair to me, but hey, it’s their crazy little religion, they can do what they want I guess.
The “criminal” was given a short reprieve though because of the Islamic holiday Ramadan. Ramadan is where they fast for several days (good God, is it any wonder they blow themselves up?), so she will not be caned until after the holiday is over. How humane of them.
It made me wonder how long a trainwreck celebrity like Lindsay Lohan would last as a Muslim? At best, she might be able to make it from Monday to Thursday. Friday nights for her might as well just start with a good sound caning…just to get it out of the way.
It wouldn’t just be the alcohol though, the Islamic dress code for women would do her in too. They are forced to cover their entire bodies, and this is a girl who can’t get out of a BMW without showing off her “woo ha ha”. I’ve seen that thing so many times on the internet I feel like I ought to get her something for Sweetest’s Day this year.
Islamic authorities claim though that the caning isn’t meant to be punishment as much as it is to be educational. It serves as a deterrent for others who have the urge to break the law. To me, it seems more like a deterrent to those thinking about becoming a Muslim.
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