(Delayed 24 hours for radio clients)
A raging wildfire raced down a mountain slope in Greece, nearing 2 ancient temples while tens of thousands of residents evacuated their homes.
*Not now, but in several years, they’ll see the humor in the fact that it was a Greece fire.
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Millions face shrinking Social Security checks next year, the first time in a generation payments won’t rise. It’s projected there won’t be a cost of living adjustment for 2 years.
*That’s bad. Seniors being able to upgrade to premium cat food would’ve helped the economy.
*On the bright side, this means Steven Tyler will have to keep touring for a couple more years.
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Insurance adjusters started probing what’s left of a Kentucky prison after a fiery riot injured 16 and forced 700 inmates to be relocated.
*And thus ends the experiment of letting inmates have town hall meetings on healthcare.
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A new trend has Godmothers, not Godfathers, rising in the ranks of the Naples’ area crime syndicate. They’re either widows of mob bosses or wives of husbands who’ve been put in prison.
*They’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse, because they’d make you feel so guilty if you did.
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“One Tree Hill” actor Antwon Tanner, who plays, Skills, pleaded guilty to selling over a dozen Social Security numbers for $10,000. He’s expected to get up to a year in prison.
*Did he do it to maintain his Hollywood backlot fake street cred?
*And by the way, can’t impressionists be charged with identity theft?
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When Discovery flies to the space station, it’ll deliver a treadmill named for Stephen Colbert and pick up a Buzz Lightyear toy. In a month, the founder of Cirque du Soleil will go there to do acrobatics. NASA can’t keep people interested in what they’re doing, so they’re turning to pop culture and entertainment.
*How about letting NASCAR driver Tony Stewart fly it? You can even put his sponsors all over the outside of the shuttle.
*That’s the French contribution to space exploration? Acrobats?
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CT police accused a Wal-Mart worker of beating an assistant manager in a store aisle with an aluminum baseball bat after getting reprimanded for the second time in days. They’re still looking for him.
*He did such a thorough job of beating him with the bat, baseball officials want to test him for steroids.
*So you’ll understand why the greeter at that particular Wal-Mart will be wearing a catcher’s mask for a few weeks.
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Guitarist James Burton led about 800 guitar players to celebrate his 70th birthday, but failed to set a world record. Guinness lists the world’s largest guitar ensemble as 1,802 participants.
*He didn’t make it because all the people who brought Guitar Hero guitars didn’t count.
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Police were called for the second time in 3 months to the LA home of Lindsay Lohan to investigate a reported burglary. She discovered the break-in after coming home at 3am and called her dad. He says a safe was ripped off a wall and a couple of watches were taken.
*It’s a real problem for the family because the safe is where they keep Lindsay’s future bail money.
*Did she come home at 3am, or crash into the home at 3am?
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A suit says a $3 million painting by US artist Brice Marden was destroyed during a move from Moscow to NY because of negligence by Lufthansa and others involved in the move.
*So much paint was scratched off you could start seeing the numbers underneath.
*Probably wasn’t a good idea trying to cram it into the overhead compartment.
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The CD booklet that comes with Sean Kingston’s new album has a special image fans can hold up to their computers’ webcams to launch a karaoke session. When they finish, they can post them where others can vote on their favorites. Kingston says, “It’s going to be dope.”
*As opposed to T-Pain, who says, “Do you want to buy any dope?”
*Ashley Simpson and the surviving member of Milli Vanilli are very excited about it.
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Famed celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz is close to financial ruin. She took a $24 million loan out using her photos as collateral. That debt is due September 8 and if she can’t pay, she could lose her life’s work and her two houses.
*At that point, her photos will be up on Flickr with the rest of ours.
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Jason Kahle of northwestern Ohio, took his girlfriend up in his dad’s plane so she could look down at a recently harvested wheat field. There in the field, spelled out in large plastic letters, was a proposal.
*Unfortunately Jason now has to look for her answer somewhere in a corn maze.
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The wife of former presidential candidate John Edwards opened a furniture store. Elizabeth Edwards opened Red Window, and husband John attended the opening. A federal grand jury is investigating whether campaign funds were illegally paid to his mistress to keep her quiet.
*Her slogan is, “You better not let me catch you with another furniture store!”
©2009, The Stiles Company, LLC
www.mikestiles.com
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